In October, tears flow a lot more! This month brings back sadness and grief in different ways. Because of the painful
cup we were handed, we understand the depths of grief, sadness, heartache and sorrow that burying a child brings! But with that, i learned what it was like to sit with my savior in the deepest, darkest, loneliest places. He cradled me in his arms and continues to. I can't ever skip over October nor would I ever want to!! I will walk through Lucy's month and remember the deep, hard, and heavy that we've made it through. We will continue to miss her, weep for her and feel the void of her absence until we get to go home! HOME!!
As Ann Voskamp says,
"He loves me and SO He allows me to feel pain that draws me to Him.
And in the midst of the pain, He weeps with me for a world that is not as He intended, for sorrow that He did not design.
I can sing because I know what is coming.
I can hope because I know who is coming.
In the dark of the night, I have seen His face.
I want to be brave enough to hold out the hope of the Gospel to a world that is hurting and alone and afraid.
Not a hope rooted in the absence of pain or heartache or suffering.
Not optimism that looks for the best-case scenario or happy ending.
A true hope that rises from the full assurance that our Savior is on His way.
It’s not light yet, but I know Him, the One who is the Light.
And so in the dark, I will sing."
So, my prayer as I get ready to enter into October is that I keep my eyes and my heart open for all the Lord has in store for me and us. I want to be keenly aware of the sweet gifts he will send my way! I know I will weep more and have harder days and that's ok! There is an empty seat at our table! But as Lucy's song("Sovereign Over Us" by Aaron Keyes)says,
"There is strength within the sorrow. There is beauty in our tears. He will meet us in our mourning with a love that cast out fear."
He has met us over and over and over again and will continue to!! And like my dearest friend told me last year on her birthday..."I pray you will weep over what you've lost and then turn and see all that you've gained in Jesus!" And that's exactly what we will do!