The Roller Coaster

I have not a shadow of a doubt that The Lord has us walking down this hard, sad, difficult road for a reason. This was part of his plan for our lives.  BUT that doesn't make it any easier. This road of grief is very unpredictable.  I don't like how unpredictable my days are. I never know when I wake up if it's going to be a good day or a hard day.  Grief is like a roller coaster. I can be "o.k." For a few days...connecting with the outside world...laughing with friends...then it hits me like a crashing wave.  The good in this...it is causing me to stay in constant conversation with The Lord. I am totally dependent on him!

It has almost been 3 months since I held Lucy. Oh what I would give to hold her again! Some days I wake up and it almost feels like a dream.  I can't believe I carried her for 8 months...felt her kick, flip, and hiccup constantly. I just knew she was going to be one spunky little girl by the way she danced in my tummy! And then having the unexpected happen! We just aren't ever prepared for something like this! I will be honest that Today has been one of my sad days! I just miss her. I miss her like crazy!! I want to hold her, smell her, cuddle with her, and tell her how much I love her.   Although I can't now...I will one day and I CANNOT WAIT!!

I would never make it through this without dear friends that have surrounded us! I call them my "safe" friends! They have entered into this grief with me and are walking beside me.   They laugh with me, cry with me, and allow me to let my guard down and be real.  They are taking time out of their days to help me establish a "new routine." They take the time to really ask how I am doing. I am so incredibly blessed by these friends.

http://mollypiper.com/2008/03/

The above link is the blog written by Molly Piper(daughter in law to John Piper). Her 2nd child, a
girl, was stillborn at 39 weeks. It has been several years but she wrote some great posts about how to deal with grieving friends. If you know of someone going through a difficult loss take time to read some of these articles, they could help you in dealing with a grieving friend!