On October 30th Hunter and I took all the kids to the cemetery to lay flowers at Lucy's grave. The kids(well the 3 big ones) haven't been there since her graveside service. I am going to be real honest here...they did not want to go and I made them. It was a personal decision between Hunter and me. We felt like it would be good for them to be there...see her full name...weep over her tombstone with us...and just to talk through the different emotions we feel so strongly around her birthday and home-going day! We were able to remind them that she is in heaven...the most perfect place of all and the home we truly long for! It was very hard and very painful, but it felt good! She is such an important part of our family story...she changed all of us as hard as it is! And I wanted a picture of all 5 of my children! It's the only one I have and I cherish it so very, very much!
I have hesitated writing about visiting the cemetery but I remember for months and months after Lucy passed away I loved reading blogs of parents that had lost a child. It gave me comfort knowing I wasn't alone and that others had walked the same path as me! I wanted to know that joy would one day return...that grief and sadness wouldn't always linger...that I would truly laugh again one day...and I can say that joy did return...that I'm not consumed with grief and sadness daily and that I laugh often!
As I am writing this I am looking at our Christmas tree. I am reminded how unbelievably hard, sad and difficult the first Christmas is after a devastating loss. I am thankful for the healing the Lord has brought to my heart and how I've been able to enjoy this Christmas season. But, on the other hand, I hurt for all the families that are feeling the weight of their losses! If you know someone that's hurting from a loss or just hurting right now...send them a message, give them a card, sit down and have cup of coffee with them. It means SO much!
And to those that read this and are hurting, I am so, so sorry! It is hard and lonely...but I encourage you to invite Jesus into your grief. He knows every ounce of how you feel...because He is the Jesus of our grief! True rest and comfort will only come from Him!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
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